Kimberly's Lament

Sooooo you REALLY wanna get married, still?

2011-03-11T17:51:00.000-08:00

Then be the kind of woman who gives a man the one thing he can't get off the street......R.E.S.P.E.C.T.

re·spect (r-spkt)

tr.v. re·spect·ed, re·spect·ing, re·spects

1. To feel or show deferential regard for; esteem.

2. To avoid violation of or interference with: respect the speed limit.

3. To relate or refer to; concern.

1. A feeling of appreciative, often deferential regard; esteem.

2. The state of being regarded with honor or esteem.

3. Willingness to show consideration or appreciation.

4. respects Polite expressions of consideration or deference: pay one's respects.

5. A particular aspect, feature, or detail: In many respects this is an important decision.

Now the only stipulation is....you have to KEEP on giving it. The act of giving respect can never end. Hard to do? Yes I know.

Kimberly

Update

2011-03-07T14:13:00.000-08:00

Last fall I wrote about my heartbreak and the heartbreak of many men in this country and what they have to deal with when dating the modern woman. My heartbreak being that I had fallen for a man who had just gotten out of a painful relationship. At that time he had no interest in being in a relationship. He wasn't the first with that story, I had met many before him. But something changed. He changed is mind, and well he and I have been dating for a little over 7 months now. Everything is going great, except his ex has popped up in the story recently. Long story short. She's crying a river and wants him back in her life. He moved on months ago when he decided to give our relationship a chance and now she is the one hanging on. Anyway, thought I'd give cyberspace an update. It's also the reason I haven't posted as often as I like. I've been living life.

Kimberly

Why You're Not Married...............

2011-03-07T13:58:00.000-08:00

So many women around me are constantly wondering why they aren't married or in a relationship. And many of those women aren't willing to listen to the truth of the matter. They would rather pin it on men. Lazy non commitment havin' men. When really THEY are the problem. I posted this link hoping that as many women as possible will read it and learn.

You can find the link here.

You want to get married. It's taken a while to admit it. Saying it out loud -- even in your mind -- feels kind of desperate, kind of unfeminist, kind of definitely not you, or at least not any you that you recognize. Because you're hardly like those girls on TLC saying yes to the dress and you would never compete for a man like those poor actress-wannabes on The Bachelor.

You've never dreamt of an aqua-blue ring box.

Then, something happened. Another birthday, maybe. A breakup. Your brother's wedding. His wife-elect asked you to be a bridesmaid, and suddenly there you were, wondering how in hell you came to be 36-years-old, walking down the aisle wearing something halfway decent from J. Crew that you could totally repurpose with a cute pair of boots and a jean jacket. You started to hate the bride -- she was so effing happy -- and for the first time ever you began to have feelings about the fact that you're not married. You never really cared that much before. But suddenly (it was so sudden) you found yourself wondering... Deep, deep breath... Why you're not married.

Well, I know why.

How? It basically comes down to this: I've been married three times. Yes, three. To a very nice MBA at 19; a very nice minister's son at 32 (and pregnant); and at 40, to a very nice liar and cheater who was just like my dad, if my dad had gone to Harvard instead of doing multiple stints in federal prison.

I was, for some reason, born knowing how to get married. Growing up in foster care is a big part of it. The need for security made me look for very specific traits in the men I dated -- traits it turns out lead to marriage a surprisingly high percentage of the time. Without really trying to, I've become a sort of jailhouse lawyer of relationships -- someone who's had to do so much work on her own case that I can now help you with yours.

But I won't lie. The problem is not men, it's you. Sure, there are lame men out there, but they're not really standing in your way. Because the fact is -- if whatever you're doing right now was going to get you married, you'd already have a ring on it. So without further ado, let's look at the top six reasons why you're not married.

1. You're a Bitch.
Here's what I mean by bitch. I mean you're angry. You probably don't think you're angry. You think you're super smart, or if you've been to a lot of therapy, that you're setting boundaries. But the truth is you're pissed. At your mom. At the military-industrial complex. At Sarah Palin. And it's scaring men off.

The deal is: most men just want to marry someone who is nice to them. I am the mother of a 13-year-old boy, which is like living with the single-cell protozoa version of a husband. Here's what my son wants out of life: macaroni and cheese, a video game, and Kim Kardashian. Have you ever seen Kim Kardashian angry? I didn't think so. You've seen Kim Kardashian smile, wiggle, and make a sex tape. Female anger terrifies men. I know it seems unfair that you have to work around a man's fear and insecurity in order to get married -- but actually, it's perfect, since working around a man's fear and insecurity is big part of what you'll be doing as a wife.

2. You're Shallow.
When it comes to choosing a husband, only one thing really, truly matters: character. So it stands to reason that a man's character should be at the top of the list of things you are looking for, right? But if you're not married, I already know it isn't. Because if you were looking for a man of character, you would have found one by now. Men of character are, by definition, willing to commit.

Instead, you are looking for someone tall. Or rich. Or someone who knows what an Eames chair is. Unfortunately, this is not the thinking of a wife. This is the thinking of a teenaged girl. And men of character do not want to marry teenaged girls. Because teenage girls are never happy. And they never feel like cooking, either.

3. You're a Slut.
Hooking up with some guy in a hot tub on a rooftop is fine for the ladies of Jersey Shore -- but they're not trying to get married. You are. Which means, unfortunately, that if you're having sex outside committed relationships, you will have to stop. Why? Because past a certain age, casual sex is like recreational heroin -- it doesn't stay recreational for long.

That's due in part to this thing called oxytocin -- a bonding hormone that is released when a woman a) nurses her baby and b) has an orgasm -- that will totally mess up your casual-sex game. It's why you can be f**k-buddying with some dude who isn't even all that great and the next thing you know, you're totally strung out on him. And you have no idea how it happened. Oxytocin, that's how it happened. And since nature can't discriminate between marriage material and Charlie Sheen, you're going to have to start being way more selective than you are right now.

4. You're a Liar.
It usually goes something like this: you meet a guy who is cute and likes you, but he's not really available for a relationship. He has some condition that absolutely precludes his availability, like he's married, or he gets around town on a skateboard. Or maybe he just comes right out and says something cryptic and open to interpretation like, "I'm not really available for a relationship right now."

You know if you tell him the truth -- that you're ready for marriage -- he will stop calling. Usually that day. And you don't want that. So you just tell him how perfect this is because you only want to have sex for fun! You love having fun sex! And you don't want to get in a relationship at all! You swear!
About ten minutes later, the oxytocin kicks in. You start wanting more. But you don't tell him that. That's your secret -- just between you and 22,000 of your closest girlfriends. Instead, you hang around, having sex with him, waiting for him to figure out that he can't live without you. I have news: he will never "figure" this out. He already knows he can live without you just fine. And so do you. Or you wouldn't be lying to him in the first place.

5. You're Selfish.
If you're not married, chances are you think a lot about you. You think about your thighs, your outfits, your naso-labial folds. You think about your career, or if you don't have one, you think about doing yoga teacher training. Sometimes you think about how marrying a wealthy guy -- or at least a guy with a really, really good job -- would solve all your problems.

Howevs, a good wife, even a halfway decent one, does not spend most of her day thinking about herself. She has too much s**t to do, especially after having kids. This is why you see a lot of celebrity women getting husbands after they adopt. The kids put the woman on notice: Bitch, hello! It's not all about you anymore! After a year or two of thinking about someone other than herself, suddenly, Brad Pitt or Harrison Ford comes along and decides to significantly other her. Which is also to say -- if what you really want is a baby, go get you one. Your husband will be along shortly. Motherhood has a way of weeding out the lotharios.

6. You're Not Good Enough.
Oh, I don't think that. You do. I can tell because you're not looking for a partner who is your equal. No, you want someone better than you are: better looking, better family, better job.

Here is what you need to know: You are enough right this minute. Period. Not understanding this is a major obstacle to getting married, since women who don't know their own worth make terrible wives. Why? You can fake it for a while, but ultimately you won't love your spouse any better than you love yourself. Smart men know this.

I see this at my son's artsy, progressive school. Of 183 kids, maybe six have moms who are as cute as you're trying to be. They're attractive, sure. They're just not objects. Their husbands (wisely) chose them for their character, not their cup size.

Alright, so that's the bad news. The good news is that I believe every woman who wants to can find a great partner. You're just going to need to get rid of the idea that marriage will make you happy. It won't. Once the initial high wears off, you'll just be you, except with twice as much laundry.

Because ultimately, marriage is not about getting something -- it's about giving it. Strangely, men understand this more than we do. Probably because for them marriage involves sacrificing their most treasured possession -- a free-agent penis -- and for us, it's the culmination of a princess fantasy so universal, it built Disneyland.

The bottom line is that marriage is just a long-term opportunity to practice loving someone even when they don't deserve it. Because most of the time, your messy, farting, macaroni-and-cheese eating man will not be doing what you want him to. But as you give him love anyway -- because you have made up your mind to transform yourself into a person who is practicing being kind, deep, virtuous, truthful, giving, and most of all, accepting of your own dear self -- you will find that you will experience the very thing you wanted all along:

Love.

Tracy McMillan is a TV writer whose credits include Mad Men and The United States of Tara. Her memoir I Love You and I'm Leaving You Anyway is now available in paperback from Harper Collins/It Books. She lives in Los Angeles with her 13-year-old son. Follow her on Twitter.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/tracy-mcmillan/why-youre-not-married_b_822088.html?ref=fb&src=sp

Brainwashing at the finest hour.

2011-01-20T08:38:00.000-08:00

Once in every great while I get a morning off to do nothing but laundry and savor a cup of coffee. Mornings like this are rare and I cherish them. Daytime TV has never really done much for me, and to be honest, I'm not into night time TV either. I'm more of book reader. Anyway, so after cooking myself a delicious breakfast I sit down to watch the Today show and then The View, all while doing laundry. Damn multitasking! Both shows are completely mindless and I now remember why they have no appeal. First, the Today show a few years back had on a comparison of conventional produce and organic produce, their bottom line was that organic produce spoiled faster and was more expensive. Never mind that organic food has more nutrient and your food is suppose to spoil not sit for weeks on end and still look ripe. WOW, imagine that food that spoils.......*crickets*. Some of the interviews they have on the Today show are so awkward and forced. So much so, it's painful to watch. So I stopped watching, I have this thing now about not causing myself pain.

The View of course is a parade of Egos. An endless Carnevale. You think the Latin communities know how to put on a show? Have you see daytime TV?? Not sure why Barbara, Joy, Sherri, Whoopi and Elizabeth aren't in thong one pieces with sequins and feather headdresses. At least then the guys at home could enjoy the show!

But what shocks and appals me most about TV durning this time of day is the amount of anti-male, and misandrist commercials. The new Kraft commercial with Ted Williams has the kid at the end of the commercial saying, "Dad really screwed this up!", because dad brought a client home for dinner and forgot to text mom. I thought to myself, "wow, that's crap". They will never mention that it's dad who puts the Kraft on the table. Let's go even further! They wont mention it's dad who bought the table to put the Kraft on, nor will they mention that it's dad who bought the house that the table resides. So as far as I'm concerned, mom needs to turn that frown upside down and put something better on the table then some crappy Kraft macaroni to keep this client. I'm thinking break out that Angus steak you got for Christmas in the down stairs freezer, lay out good China, and pop open that expensive wine you were saving for your 10th wedding anniversary! Cuz if dad doesn't get this client, there's a good chance dad might not have a job. And you wont have a crappy Kraft dinner, a table or a house and mom wont get her vacation in Thailand! The women who watch this crap just fall right into it. They want to emulate whats on the boob tube. Be angry and trivial because the square box says so! I could go on with tons of spider webbing but I'm sure you don't have time for that. Let me quit bitchn' and moanin'.......

Here you go, Another nail in the coffin.

Kimberly

Update.....

2010-10-25T04:13:00.001-07:00

Co-worker decided to combine her and her husband's last names to create a last name for their children. Sigh.....

Heartbroken.....

2010-08-24T18:27:00.000-07:00

There is an ache in my chest. My heart feels hollow.

The full effects of feminism are coming to light. It's as if and atomic bomb has gone off and I'm the only survivor left unscathed. As I stand alone surveying the damage, the carnage, the wreckage, all I can do weep. There is nothing, and no one left to save.

I've all but come to terms with spinsterhood, the only thing I wont do is get a cat. Might get a dog. You see I've spent the last 2 years as a singleton. Having left a relationship of 3 years, I need that time away to heal and prepare myself for another. The time has been well spent and I feel more than ready to enter another relationship. My problem however is finding a man who is on the same page as me. The dating scene is a complete horror show. And no I'm not going to say there are no good men, there are plenty of wonderful, down right fabulous men. But they have been cut up, used up, abused, mocked, lied to, and basically abandoned by so called women. Women who enjoy and would love to see the male sex wiped out, or shriveled up in a corner crying somewhere. Women who want men to pay for history's "abuse" of women. Women who think it's funny to talk shit about their husbands, to take a man to the cleaners, to lie about paternity. I am so sick of your shit ladies, there is absolutely no excuse for your behavior! I feel no pity for the woman who cries there are no available men, because you're same woman who screams "GIRL POWER" and "I don't need a man". When you lie alone in your bed at night crying, I hope it sinks in. I hope it hits home so hard it rocks you to your core. You're miserable and alone because you chose it. You choose not to see the truth, the destruction of the natural bond between men and women. Right now I have no pity on you, someday in the future, sure. I'll pray about.

Anyway, back to the men. There are plenty of great guys out there. In fact, I met one just a few weeks ago. And well I'm quite smitten with him. He's exactly what I need. But, just like the ones before him(about 10), he tells me he's not ready. His last relationship(5 years) left him thousands of dollars in debt. Girlfriend left him for someone she thought was better. No doubt he had a part in the demise of the relationship. It takes two. I know. Now he no longer trust women. Can't say I blame him. So here is this great guy, and there are more of them, opting out. No desire to have anything to do with women. My heart hurts for him, and men like him. Living in a world where it's not safe to do what's natural. A world where just being a man gets you prosecuted, no questions asked.

Ladies the reason why we can't seem to find a man to have a relationship with is because we make them miserable, we have made ourselves undesirable. You can sit here and deny it all you want but it's the truth. You have created your pain by accepting feminism as your mantra. Now you have live with it. As well as I do.

So tonight my heart aches for all those men who are stuck in a world that no longer sees your value, a world where you are to be hunted and destroyed. And for you "Super girl", "Wonder woman", I hope karma gets you.......good. A barren womb I think is an appropriate punishment.

Kimberly

P.S. I think this blog is going to become a bitchn' blog! lol

What's in a name?

2010-08-03T16:49:00.000-07:00

A couple of weeks ago, my co-worker who is pregnant with twins asked me what last name I gave my daughter. I told her that she has my last name, and that I had asked my ex if he preferred her to have his last name. His reply stunned me. He wanted her to have MY last name and not his, because he figured she would live full time with me, and when she married it would change. So really there was no point in giving her his last name. Which is true, but I still wouldn't have minded my daughters surname being different than mine. Well, said co-worker is married, and decided not to change her last name to her husbands. Now the couple is fighting over who's last name the children should take. I quandered as to why she didn't take her husbands name, and she stated that she wanted to be an individual, and not loose her individuality.

THEN WHY GET MARRIED???

Let's be honest, there is nothing like marriage to ruin your independence, your "individuality". That's what it's there to do, and if you have a problem with it, then maybe you shouldn't be married. My co-worker is causing unnecessary strife in her marriage by not take her husbands last name. Even in my most devout feminist thinking, if I had gotten married I would have taken my husband's last name. Not sure what that says about me. It makes sense that everyone in the family would have the same name. And as far as I'm concerned a husband taking the name of his wife is out of the question. Could you give the man something!? Anything!? Some R-E-S-P-E-C-T....

Men get no benefits out of marriage. No sex, no respect, they pay for most everything. When we as women decide we want babies, guess who has to foot the bill because we can't work? Yep our husband. In divorce the courts side with women a majority of the cases. Leaving men in financial peril. The risk men take for marriage just isn't worth it any more. The marriage strike is real and justified. Though as a single woman it pains me to say it, I stand behind it.

If by chance I escape spinsterhood and get married, I will take my husband's last name. Because when when our daughter leaves our home in just a few years, I don't want it to be Mr. Soandso and Ms. Independent lamenated on our front door.

Thanks for taking the time to read my rant, I feel better now.

Kimberly

P.S. Guys, don't marry any women who wont take your last name. Just don't do it.

The Recruiter

2010-08-02T06:36:00.001-07:00

Side note: I've been meaning to put out another post for the last week or so but I wound up sick, and now I'm moving this week. Not sure when I'll be able to post again, and I wanted to make sure that this post was out ASAP.

For the last few months I've lacked motivation to make entries to my blog. I just felt directionless, and unsure of my role in helping the MRM. Luckily last week I landed on a couple of different blogs discussing that exact issue, and it helped me immensely. My role is to simply be the bridge for women coming to terms with the falseness of Feminism. You can't go from being a devout feminist to thinking like the ladies at "Ladies Against Feminism" in one day. It takes months, even years to de-brainwash yourself. The process you go through is one of grieving. It's as though you've lost a loved one. Now I'm not saying feminism is a "loved one", what I'm saying is, coming to terms with what you have lost by your own ignorance is devastating. You teeter on the edge of a cliff, not knowing whether to go forward, or go back and salvage your ignorance. The MRM boards and some discussions can be brutal and may make women want turn away. Hopefully this blog can help ease women into turning the right direction.

Men need women to join this movement, and women need men to lead it. I'm just glad to be apart of something meaningful, and even happier to make a contribution.

Thanks,

Kimberly

Master Procrastinator

2010-07-19T06:39:00.000-07:00

I know, I know. I haven't posted in ages. Again, my apologize to my two readers, Ashley and Mark. Things for me in regards to the MRA have been confusing and I'm just straightening out my position on the subject. But I will be posting soon. Just a few weeks ago I had the pleasure of spending some time in Japan, it was a wonderful trip I would love to share with you.....Mark.(Ashley went with me).

Peace,

Kimberly

Pride And Prejudice, And The Random Assail

2010-03-12T05:20:00.000-08:00

“Sex adventure of this sort by any considerable number of women would be a costly enterprise for the sex. Rooted deep in a man is brute instinct. This is now held in abeyance for most men and guided by a sense of chivalry that is instilled into man’s very marrow through he relation with mother, sister, wife, and daughter. Wipe out that sense of chivalry—as it would be wiped out by and considerable ‘sex-adventuring’ on the part of women—and there is danger that man will simply retrograde into a sex pirate. He is and always will be the stronger physically and economically. And woman, if she is to survive in a time when male protection and chivalry do not exists, will be obliged to yield him what he demands." Link

"Marriage is the union of two different surnames, in friendship and in love, in order to continue the posterity of the former sages, and to furnish those who shall preside at the sacrifices to heaven and earth, at those in the ancestral temple, and at those at the altars to the spirits of the land and grain." -Confucius

"Men's natures are alike, it is their habits that carry them far apart." -Confucius

Reading has to be the only true pleasure on this earth for me, no really. Many a time I find myself so lost in a book, I lose sense of the reality around me. I suppose it’s my way of coping with the trials and tribulations of everyday life. Escapism anyone? Oh yes. For years and years I’ve seen Jane Austen’s novels. I missed the “Austen wave” around 1995, I was in high school and they weren’t on our lists of books to read. I never ventured to dip into them until Pride and Prejudice was being shown on cable this past month. Enjoying the movie I decided to pick up the book. It only took me 4 days to read, I couldn’t put it down. Oh my, how times have changed since Jane laid pen to paper for the first time. I wonder what she would say about the state of love, relationships and marriage if she was living. Rumors around the internet have given in to Jane being a lesbian, or a feminist, I think her neither. Both in her novels and in her own actions, Jane appears to me to be nothing more than an intelligent woman who, by economic advantage could maintain being single, not settling for a marriage to a man she did not love. Over and over displayed in her novels are examples of both poor and well chosen marriages. Nowhere in her novels is there any mention of anti-marriage or anti-male ideas that feminist might want you to believe. What Jane was doing was bringing to the forefront the disadvantages women of her time had economically. In her novels she wrote about the women who didn’t have the opportunity to marry and lived lives in poverty, and the ones who were forced into marriages that were incompatible. She wove these topics throughout the love stories of each novel poignantly. In no way does this make Jane a feminist. The feminist doctrine isn’t about equality; it isn’t about making a living to survive as they would like you to think. It’s about elevating women to a status and “value” above men, which they have unfortunately succeeded in doing. Jane even goes as far as to write about the hurdles that her male counterparts had in those times as well, and that doesn’t sound compatible with the feminist agenda nowadays. Discuss the disadvantages of men?? Absolutely not! One had to earn a wife then. If a man couldn’t afford it, he wouldn’t have much of a chance to marry, and possible live the rest of his life lonely like his female counterpart. I believe that Jane truly did recognize the both sides of the coin, and has been made out to be something she is not. I’m sure that many will disagree with me. And that’s fine. But deep in my heart I know Jane is just like any other woman or human being for that matter, to walk the face of this earth. She wanted love. She wanted friendship attached to that love, along with trust, security and faithfulness. But most of all, she wanted a choice. She wanted to not be judged on that choice. I can’t say that I disagree with her. I believe we all should have that option, and we right now we do. We can choose to get married, or stay single and support ourselves. These should be good times for us, especially for women. We have all that we asked for and more ladies. I wonder why then, most of us are so miserable and lonely? Well I guess that’s because in climbing that mountain to our freedom, we’ve destroyed everything in our wake. The stone that makes up the mountain has crumbled under the increasing weight of our egos. Those crumbles could well as depict the state of men today. For the men of today are merely shadows of what they use to be. And we have rendered them so, ladies. It’s our doing, and their blood is on our hands. Which leads me to an experience I had a few weeks ago. I was standing in the door way of an establishment where my friend’s boyfriend’s band was playing. My friend, her boyfriend and a few other people were smoking and I was with them standing close behind my friend because it was cold. Out of nowhere, someone grab my butt. I looked behind me to see who it was. To my surprise it was a man that I didn’t know. Being just slightly intoxicated, I punched him in the shoulder and shoved him. He looked completely surprised, but cool and collected none the less, like he had just gotten away with murder or something. Completely disgusted and angry, I looked to someone, anyone to scolded him or reprimand him. There was no one. And he pretty much laughed me off, and throughout the night apparently he continued to assault numerous women. His behavior was never addressed by anyone, besides the punch he received from me. Thinking about this incident brought back memories of a similar one 10 years before. I was out with my friend and her husband and a few of their friends. We were walking to our table through a mob of people when a guy randomly stuck his hand between the back of my friend and the front of me, at about my waist as if to cop a feel. I remember feeling violated and calling him out on it, and I then remember him saying, “Oh, she’s drunk, she doesn’t know what she’s talking about”. Yes, I had a few drinks that night, but can remember the incident like it was yesterday, and if you showed me a line-up of men today I could easily identify him. But there is one striking difference between the incident 10 years ago and the one last month. My friend’s husband confronted the guy, and he had a man to man talk with him right there and set him straight. Nothing more was said on either part. The world needs strong men to correct the weak. We as women cannot do the job. It’s just not possible. No matter how independent we are, no matter how many laws we have that lean to our side, we as women can never do the job of a man in correcting negative male behavior no matter the cause. And really I don’t care if you wear a Super girl shirt and shout “girl power” and carry mace. In neither of the cases above was I wearing anything revealing, or behaving provocatively. I happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Long gone are Mr. Darcy and Mr. Knightly of Jane’s time. The selfish, independent, over-sexualized woman has destroyed every viable resource in which a gentlemen needs to be created. Instead we cultivate “sex pirates”, pariahs, and misanthropes with our incessant stand on freedom. Freedom that we already have! So here we are ladies, grieving over the loss of “good” men, and bathing our sorrows in material relief. We grieve over which we have unknowingly created in our haste for freedom. And NOW to lay flowers at the graves of the gentlemen past would be like ghosts laying flowers and repenting at the feet of the living.

Kimberly

My Apologies

2010-02-24T06:41:00.001-08:00

I would like at this time to apoligize to my two readers, I hope my absence hasn't left you in despair. ;0) I've been working through some personal stuff and haven't been able to invest the time in quality bloggin'.

Right now I'm working on a tantilizing, heart churning post, that will leave you.....ok I'm being dramatic...anyway. Gimme a couple of days and I'll have something up for you to feast on. In the mean time....I'd like to ask the gentlemen who read my blog to send me their personal stories in regards to feminism and relationships, so that I may share them here with the ladies. I'm not sure in what form they will appear, quotes or collections of similar stories. Please feel free to pass this request around. Much thanks,

Kimberly

I've domesticated myself.

2009-12-15T15:43:00.000-08:00

I'm not afraid to say it, I make the best dang cookies you'll ever taste. Quality ingredience and love! ;0) I'm totally gloating, and if you want to share in the beauty of baking great cookies just email me.

Kimberly

Gone Knitting

2009-12-14T06:21:00.001-08:00

At last I've finally found a viable hobby that I can piddle away my time and money on. KNITTING. It's beautiful. So simple and eloquent. It's almost better than reading, but not quite when waiting for appointment and other time wasters. It just takes two needles, yarn and competence. Knitting is definetly not for the faint of heart or those who are in a rush. To the left is a scarf I'm knitting a friend. They make great christmas gifts. Infact this year, every gift will be hand made. I'm sick of the commercialization attached to this holiday. Anyway, I've got a couple of more scarves, hats and gloves to go, so if you don't see me post before Christmas, you know where I am. I'VE GONE KNITTING!

Kimberly

The Crippling Effects of Hormonal Birth Control

2009-12-11T14:42:00.000-08:00

So often when discussing oral contraceptive people focus on the fact that they may or may not be abortifacient, leaving out three more immediately devastating effects of these poisons on the women who take them. In the past two weeks I've had two different conversations with friends who had recently taken themselves off OC. Each had a separate reason for discontinuing their use. One stopped because she was having problems with her skin, and noticed the change in her emotions. The other realised that life taking OC is more binding than freeing, and that she was less discretionary when choosing sexual partners. Both of my friends reasons, along with the fact that you are less likely to use condoms, increasing your risk of getting a STD are exactly why you should stop taking OC and other hormonal birth control. Coupled with the list of possible side effects they give you. Such as:

Nausea, vomiting, constipation, or bloating
irregular menstruation and spotting
Breast swelling or tenderness
Decreased libido
Weight gain or loss of appetite
Mood swings, anxiety, nervousness or depression
Changes in vaginal discharge and vaginal infections
Headaches, dizziness and fatigue
High blood pressure and cholesterol
Acne or permanent discolouration of the face
Fluid retention
Bone density loss
Hair loss or changes in hair growth
Enlarged ovarian follicles

Sounds like a jolly good time right?

All of these side effects so we can have "good" sex?? Because let's face it ladies, that's the reason why we go on OC. It's what every woman does. We like a guy. We've been seeing him for a few months and we up grade him from condoms to no condoms because we are on birth control. Never asking him for a document on his status. Right??? Right!

The Bitch Shield??

Do you even realize why your such a bitch? Why you cry at the drop of a hat? It's not normal! You're not suppose to be that emotional ALL the time! There are certain times during the month in which you will be emotional. Your cycle is up and down...NOT CONSTANT! If you find yourself screaming at your spouse or children, or constantly anxiety ridden to the point of psychosis you need to look no further than your OC. And for those of you who say that you have none of these symptoms, let me ask you a question? Do you feel anything or are you numb? Because OC causes that as well. OC breaks down our natural defenses. It breaks down our natural ability to be intuitive, nurturing, caring, loving. It destroys our ability to make good choices about our bodies.

Here is forum in which these effects are discussed.

Ladies. Let's take back our bodies, minds and souls. Unplug yourself from the fematrix. Start by discontinuing your use of hormonal birth control, and being more discretionary about your sexuality. In that lies your true power and independence.

Kimberly

The Sanctuary

2009-11-25T10:44:00.000-08:00

This past weekend, a friend and I drove 10 hours to Mio, Michigan. We were there for a woman's retreat, and to revive our souls. Here are a few pics, enjoy.

Mackinac Bridge, Michigan

This is the fire pit, which I like to call God.

The view from Hwy 2, in the Yooper!

Woodland Sanctuary Mio, Michigan

The Stream, Mio

Kimberly

Get behind that sink BITCH! And now because of feminism, get behind the counter, the desk, the drivers seat as well!

2009-11-16T18:41:00.000-08:00

For crying out loud. If I hear one more feminist drone repeat the phrase, "you just want all women behind the kitchen sink", in reference to the way men see women, I'm going to take her(or his) filthy sh*t laced thong, wrap it around their big ole head, stuff it through their digestive track and latch it on their appendix. The ignorance that is this movement never ceases to amaze me. It's like they're all programmed with the same responses, like really confused IBM's. But worse.

From my observations, a majority of men do not want to enslave you by making you cook, clean and do dishes like the feminist have told you. There are a few men who view women as such, but here in the US those men are few and far between. And those men should be avoided, unless you like that sort of thing. Now don't get me wrong. Men like to have their women cook for them and take care of them. And you know what, there isn't a damn thing wrong with that. We as women seem to forget what men do for us in return. Now most men wont admit, but they love taking care of us, it's in their biology. They love working for us, providing a home for us and their children. They love making us feel secure. They love the smile on our faces when we are truly happy and will go to the ends of the earth to make it all happen for us. Well, the healthy ones do anyway. They just want to be our heroes. When you think about it, the relationship between a man and a woman is give and take. Not take, take, take on the man's part. The man works to support the woman financially, and the woman works to provide for the man emotionally. They take care of one another. They pick up where the other may lack, or have a need. It's natural. Men view a woman's role as love being returned and not putting her into slavery. He wants to see the love that he is giving, reciprocated. That's all. That's it. Really it's that simple. And thinking about it makes me feel good actually. Can you imagine being in your home and your only job is to provide LOVE, to your family. Love in the form of home cooked meals, love in the form of bed time stories, love in the form of BEING there for your family. What an easy and rewarding job that is...just to LOVE. But because it doesn't include being a menial wage slave, feminist consider it meaningless. We women are so stupid. Here we are fighting at the bit to get to the top. To the top of what I don't know. We would rather spend our time behind the proverbial "desk" than spend time with our families. No wonder this country is going to hell in a hand basket.

So here we are ladies we've GOT IT ALL! We've got our desk, we've got our check out lanes, our driver's seats. Our lovely pay checks. And you know what, we've got our sinks too. BECAUSE BY DEFAULT WE END UP THERE ANYWAY! BOY DO WE HAVE IT ALL! And guess who helped get you there? Yep the feminists.

And to those women that don't have it ALL. You know who you are, 30+, no children, no man, just a desk job and enormous amount of stress. That is what you get when you let man hating feminists rule the world. Here you sit in misery, alone, and Jessica Valenti, Gloria Steinem, and the rest of the feminist broad have all gotten married. They don't think about you. Only their personal agendas. Look deeper ladies. Look deeper into the feminist propaganda. Behind it you'll find none of those women give a sh*t about you. They don't care about you making the right decision for you! Don't fall for their lies. More on that soon to come.

Anyway, I'll leave on a high note.

LOVE, LOVE, LOVE. YOU HAVE A RIGHT TO LOVE YOUR MAN AND RECIEVE HIS LOVE IN RETURN. AND DON'T LET ANYONE TELL YOU OTHERWISE!

Kimberly

The Replacment.....

2009-11-14T08:27:00.000-08:00

Finally, it's over! For years I've searched high and low for something that would be substantial to cow's milk. My precious temple does not react well to the adulterated(ie, pasteurization, homogenization) version of cow's milk that is sold in the over processed food mills that we call grocery stores. If getting raw milk was legal, I'd go grab some. But since it's not, and the idea that I would have to resort to driving 10 miles every couple of days for fresh milk at some farm that's running an illegal operation, is just ludicrous. Anyway, today I had it with my Tazo Chai tea...delicious! In the past I've resorted to hemp, rice, almond and soy, which is highly over rated and can affect fertility in women AND MEN. Besides that the other milks just don't taste as good. This one is creamy and delicious and I put back a whole carton in two days....It's a keeper. Oh and don't send me a comment about the affects of coconut milk on my health....YOU CAN'T STEAL MY JOY!

The Come Back Kid!

2009-11-13T07:29:00.000-08:00

After 40 years of feminism, has the male appendage finally made a respected come back? Apparently they the designers of this bridge in WI thought it should. What do you think?

Larry Miller of Appleton was so pleasantly surprised when he drove over the bridge Saturday he decided to walk over it Sunday. The aesthetics of the bridge caught his eye. "It looks nice," he said. "They wouldn't have had to do this railing or the cement balls or anything like that. And the
lighting is superior. It's really nice."

Yes, very nice. :0)

Editor's note: Bridge is not in WI, it's in London. But I'm not changing the paragraph above, it fits too well!

Come on ladies, wake up and smell the coffee....

2009-11-11T08:17:00.000-08:00

Have you ever pondered the thought as to why dating and relationships are so hard? I'm sure you've sat there for hours crying over your last spectacle of a relationship. Worse than that, let me ask you, can you even get to the point of having a relationship? Have you ever sat there and said to yourself, "It's them, not me!", when it comes to being in relationships with men? Have you almost given up dating, and then you find a guy who you think is different, and then he's not? Then you go back to inflicting unnecessary emotional pain on yourself. "What's wrong with me, am i ugly, am I crazy, am I a mutant that is incapable of a decent relationship?!" Rest assure you are not the only woman to have these pangs, and no you are not a mutant. There are millions of women just like you suffering the same fate.

Do you know what the common thread is between each of the questions above? Yes that's right, it's you!

Now the real question is, do you want to know what's behind your own dysfunction? Do you really want to know how to make this situation better? I'm sure your answer will be "yes", yet the next few paragraphs will have you swearing at me, and swearing off my blog. But please stay with me here.

Your Solution....DUMP feminism. Dump your independence, dump your "GO GIRL", dump your survivor. BYE BYE...I did..it's pretty easy.

Feminism has deluded your mind, it's created a barrier between you and what you desire most. A relationship with a man, that is healthy, happy and harmonious. You know you need it. Stop telling yourself you don't NEED a man, YOU WANT A MAN. That's obsured. Because if you desire to have children, YOU DO NEED A MAN! And there is nothing like single motherhood knock you straight...if you're smart.

You and the millions of women of the west have been recuited as an army of destruction based on the false gender equality drivel that feminism has thrust in your face for the last 40 years. Men and women were not meant to be equal. They were meant to work together as a team. Yin and yang. Sun and moon. Both serve an important role in the continuation of civilization. And feminist with thier lies and manipulations have done a damn good job of destroying everything good about what men and women have when they work together.

If you will, please allow me to decompress and debrainwash you through a series of posts. I wont subject you to the negativity like the numorous MRA/MRM blogs. I'm just going to bring you facts. Facts you can't ignore. Facts that will make you say hmmmmmmmm.

Let me ask you another question. Do you know anything about what men need in a relationship? Think about it for a minute. Ok, what did you come up with??

Sex, sex, sex, and more sex...beer, TV, motorcycles, guy time.

See you're not answering the question. I asked you what do men NEED in relationships. Not what they GET in a relationship or what they do to pass the time.

THEY NEED YOU TO NEED THEM....no not be needy....they need you to NEEEEED THEM. Nothing makes a man want to turn around and walk away like a woman saying she is an
"independent woman". What you are saying to him is, "I don't need you, I just want to have you when it's convenient". "And when I don't want you any more, I'll just up and leave" There is NO benefit for being in a relationship for men! NONE!

Ladies...we no longer have anything to offer men any more. Do you even realize this? Men now can cook for themselves, clean, support themselves. For crying out loud they don't even need us for sex anymore.

I would like to say that we could offer men emotional support and intimacy, and children but those are no longer motives for being with us either. Those benefits are gone first when the vows are said, and then when a man steps in to family court, due to your untimely exit. It's all gone in a blink in an eye. Men have everything to loose and nothing to gain. Would you marry if you were a man? Now answer that honestly.

So ladies, please allow me the privaledge of filling in the whole feminism has dug for you. Allow the men who have become victims of feminism(you are a victim as well, I view all of us as victims of this atrocious social experiment) to speak to you, so you may gain what you have been needing all along. AGAPE.

Kimberly

A Woman's Nation?

2009-11-04T14:21:00.000-08:00

Hello!

I wanted my first post to be something created by me, but..... Hawaiian Libertarian has taken the words out of my mouth. Giving credit where credit is due.

Kimberly