Tuesday, August 24, 2010


There is an ache in my chest. My heart feels hollow.

The full effects of feminism are coming to light. It's as if and atomic bomb has gone off and I'm the only survivor left unscathed. As I stand alone surveying the damage, the carnage, the wreckage, all I can do weep. There is nothing, and no one left to save.

I've all but come to terms with spinsterhood, the only thing I wont do is get a cat. Might get a dog. You see I've spent the last 2 years as a singleton. Having left a relationship of 3 years, I need that time away to heal and prepare myself for another. The time has been well spent and I feel more than ready to enter another relationship. My problem however is finding a man who is on the same page as me. The dating scene is a complete horror show. And no I'm not going to say there are no good men, there are plenty of wonderful, down right fabulous men. But they have been cut up, used up, abused, mocked, lied to, and basically abandoned by so called women. Women who enjoy and would love to see the male sex wiped out, or shriveled up in a corner crying somewhere. Women who want men to pay for history's "abuse" of women. Women who think it's funny to talk shit about their husbands, to take a man to the cleaners, to lie about paternity. I am so sick of your shit ladies, there is absolutely no excuse for your behavior! I feel no pity for the woman who cries there are no available men, because you're same woman who screams "GIRL POWER" and "I don't need a man". When you lie alone in your bed at night crying, I hope it sinks in. I hope it hits home so hard it rocks you to your core. You're miserable and alone because you chose it. You choose not to see the truth, the destruction of the natural bond between men and women. Right now I have no pity on you, someday in the future, sure. I'll pray about.

Anyway, back to the men. There are plenty of great guys out there. In fact, I met one just a few weeks ago. And well I'm quite smitten with him. He's exactly what I need. But, just like the ones before him(about 10), he tells me he's not ready. His last relationship(5 years) left him thousands of dollars in debt. Girlfriend left him for someone she thought was better. No doubt he had a part in the demise of the relationship. It takes two. I know. Now he no longer trust women. Can't say I blame him. So here is this great guy, and there are more of them, opting out. No desire to have anything to do with women. My heart hurts for him, and men like him. Living in a world where it's not safe to do what's natural. A world where just being a man gets you prosecuted, no questions asked.

Ladies the reason why we can't seem to find a man to have a relationship with is because we make them miserable, we have made ourselves undesirable. You can sit here and deny it all you want but it's the truth. You have created your pain by accepting feminism as your mantra. Now you have live with it. As well as I do.

So tonight my heart aches for all those men who are stuck in a world that no longer sees your value, a world where you are to be hunted and destroyed. And for you "Super girl", "Wonder woman", I hope karma gets you.......good. A barren womb I think is an appropriate punishment.


P.S. I think this blog is going to become a bitchn' blog! lol


Anonymous said...

Well, I am one of those men whose life has been wrecked by a woman.

I agree with everything you say, except the part where you lose all hope and start resigning yourself to spinsterhood.

You are only 30. You have time to get a good man who is willing to commit. They are rare but they are not non-existent. And you are pretty. Don't despair. Keep on meeting people and being kind to them: your guy will come.

Best wishes from Latin America

Kimberly's Lament said...

Papi chulo,

Thank you! I'll have you know I'm actually 31 years of age.;0) Had a birthday a few months ago. In regards to the spinster thing, I have a wacky sense of humor so don't always take me too seriously. Although that is honestly how I feel. Men just aren't willing to commit anymore. Can't blame them. :0)

m.m said...

Now now, so you're right. I actually don't think it's that bad, but I haven't really thought of it from an (older) woman's perspective. I guess women who are "ready to settle down" either have to settle for a lesser guy, try to fix a "ruined" guy, or start buying kitties. But again, I don't think it's that bad. You should have a mindset that there are an abundant number of guys out there, and there are. You might have to date older, or younger, or do a DIY fix-er-up on a less damaged guy. For me, I'm pretty much using American girls that are affected by this idea of Western Feminism only for flings, and being more serious and gentlemanly with girls that either share my values and are American (rare), or foreign girls (more common).

Jennifer said...

I'm so sorry you're hurting.

Historically, SOME men have abused women, but of course I don't believe men should pay for it now, anymore than I as a white woman should pay for my milk-pale ancestors' crimes.

But, you big silly, you're only thirty! Spinster-hood, my foot; don't give up hope, or lose the bloom in your heart.

Anonymous said...

I agree there are good men out there. One thing I'm tired of hearing is women lament where are the "real men." Looking through the personals there is usually a huge list of things I need to be to be a real man. Then I look at the woman and see some fatso with two brats. The average AW has priced herself out of the market. First time I've read a post by a woman that didn't crap on men. Your probably not white that's my only guess, I don't know.

Kimberly's Lament said...


I'm definetly not a picky gal, so I don't mind an older, younger or a fixer upper. lol Even still most of these men don't want to be in relationships after being burn by AW. But I do recognize I have to change my mind set. Abundance!


Kimberly's Lament said...

Hey Jennifer, thanks for stopping at my blog! Welcome. Um I'll have you know I'm 31 now. Sometimes I feel like the men here, and maybe I should move to Latin America to find a man...but some of those LA men can be ummm....well...I'll leave that alone. American men are great, but they are hurting and have no desire to be in relationships. So alas here I am, bitchn' on a blog. Well anyway, stick around Jennifer, miracles happen everyday, I could be married next year.


Kimberly's Lament said...

anon @ 11:51

I'm not ALL white! ;0) I hope women and men stop crapping on each other. In the end it doesn't nothing for either sex. We are inherently different and need to make an effort to work together as one. When the sexes do work together we make and incredible team. Can you imagine if we all got it together? Now that's Utopia!

Terry @ Breathing Grace said...

Keep hope alive, Kimberly. There is a guy out there for you.

While I'm not sure about what will happen between men and women going forward on a grand scale, I do believe there are good men who still want to settle down.

You'll find one.

MarkyMark said...

Hi Kim,

I've had my misadventures with women, though they're not as bad as those that other men have had. Even so, just the bullshit of DATING has turned me off!

I have not been on a date in 5.5-6 years now-almost six years since I've been on a date! It's not for lack of trying, either. The women flake out before we can get to the dating part.

About four years ago, I was going to take out this woman I'd met at the library. She was four years older than me, and had a college age daughter. She was decent looking, but not gorgeous. I wasn't reaching out of my league at all. Anyway, we scheduled a date. About two hours before we were to get together, I get a text message saying something came up with her kid. I said I understood, and to call me to reschedule. She never called.

More recently, if you've been reading my blog, you'll know about my coworker, Maria. To make a long story short, I got her number, which she CHEERFULLY gave with a smile-yes! I was stoked. Anyway, later that week, Maria started being more distant. I didn't read much into that; I figured it was the stress of being a divorced, single mom (she has an 18 y/o daughter). Even though Maria is cute, she's 37 and has a kid. While I was reaching a bit, I didn't think I was aiming too high.

So, I called her that following Sunday night. I expected her to be relaxing or making the final preps for the week ahead like I was. She wasn't. She was in a car going somewhere; she said she was going to a baby shower, though Sunday evening is a weird time to have one of those. She acted startled, not happy, to hear from me. Anyway, since she couldn't talk, I point blank asked her to go on a date with me that following Saturday. She didn't give me an answer, so I hung up. We never went out.

I could repeat stories like this, but I won't bore you. Even if a guy hasn't had truly bad experiences with women (e.g. divorce, family court, etc.), the odds are he's been flaked on all too often. He gets burned out on women playing games with his head and his heart. After a while, a guy figures out that it's not worth the EFFORT to try getting to know someone, so he opts out. I'm at that point.

Last weekend, I signed up for a three day trial on a dating site. While I got a lot of scammers (they're easy to spot after you've encountered a couple), I started corresponding with a couple of nice, Russian gals. Do you know that, after all the BS I've been through, I almost don't want to?! And these are NICE girls! They're young (28 and 31), never married, and they have no kids. They're smart too; they can talk about more meaningful things than who won American Idol. There was a time I would have been eager to pursue something with gals like this; now, I have to FORCE myself to do it. I'm not kidding!

I'm going to close this out. It's nice to see you still writing, Kim. I might run this on my blog. I'm not writing that much anymore, because I've frankly moved beyond the anger stage; I'm no longer angry at women. It's just that the vast majority of AW are hopelessly screwed up, and that's the way it is. I accept that, and I no longer care. It's just another fact of life, like the sky is blue. Anyway, though I no longer have the passion to write like I used to, I still run others' material that is good. Have a good night now...


MarkyMark said...


I forgot to tell you the BEST part about the Maria saga: she's a lesbian! That's right; I have reason to believe that she that she likes women the same way I do. You can read more about it here.

The thing is that the signs were there all along, but I didn't see them. I wasn't looking for them, either. I simply saw someone who was unique and different, which Maria is. Anyway, you can read more about it at my blog post. Thanks, and good night...


Kimberly's Lament said...

Hey Terry,

Thanks for stopping by, and the encouragement. I'm just trying to learn how to be the kind of woman who deserves a good man. That's all I can do, and hopefully the pieces will fall into place.


Kimberly's Lament said...

Hey Mark,

Good to hear from you, it's been a while. Yes I have been following your story. I pop in, but i'm not always able to give a full response. I'm glad you reposted Zen's message to women. I learned alot from it. His page is one of the first I've ever read.

As for the dating scene, I think both men and women are having similar problems for different reasons. It's a mess and I want to avoid it. I think all the good people are opting out because of all the bull$hit. I'll keep looking, but once my daughter leaves the house in 6 years, I'll be dog hunting. :0)

I'm not sure how I feel about you running my post. I'm sure there will be backlash, it's inevitable. Just give me a warning so I'm prepared, ok! lol

Thanks Mark,


Eman said...

Don't fret, Kimberly.

I'm about a year and a half older than you [32], and I've pretty much given up on the dating/marriage scene myself. In my experience, I've only dated once...and then have not thought about finding another since.

Just understand, most of the men have become frustrated with the dynamics of dating, marriage, and relationships--as a result of the many bad laws in favor of the women, the TV shows that negatively portray us, and most important: the expected preferential treatment that they have to give to them even if they don't deserve it.

I've found that upholding my dignity and staying 'single' are much more valuable than dating a malevolent post-feminist woman!

Already, feminism, is the reason why I've lost some respect for the women who support it and reap its tainted benefits.

But don't fret...your day will come.

Not unusual for a different type of black brotha like myself to say this?!

Kimberly, you're perfect in my book!!! ;ox


Kimberly's Lament said...

Hey Eman!

Thanks for stopping by and sharing your experience. Yeah it's a mess. Still not sure what to do. But I have a post coming here soon that will explain a few things. And some exciting developments.


Migu said...

Hey Kim,

I'm 29 let me put this way.

After reading most of the family law in this country, I've come to the conclusion that the only legal relationship a man can have with a woman is the detached professional kind. It is the only safe one for a man.

I get lonely and would love to start a family, but I will not, and should I leave this country to perhaps start a family. 23 and under only. I want the healthy eggs you see.

Nice post. It sucks but life goes on. I hope your words reach the young women.

Anonymous said...

I am a 31yo man. Being born and raised in the feminist era, It has become apparent in no uncertain terms that we men are not wanted, not needed, hated, despised, and good for nothing except to be tricked into alimony and child support.

I used to be angry about it, but not anymore. I'm not angry any more because who would I be angry at? Women? Feminism has literally turned women into men, and every where I look, there are no more women.

djc said...

Kimberly, it's good women like you who give men hope. Like many men, I have also given up. But I've always been very independent anyway. So it's fairly easy for me. But hang in there. A woman with your looks, and mind, should have no problem finding what you are looking for.

Marty said...

Too little, too late... too bad.

Anonymous said...

Hi Kimberly! Well, one of my girl-friends got engaged at 33. You're still young :)


ToD said...

Well Kimberly, it seems you have woken up. Most females don't even make it that far or sink so far into denial at the realization of what has happened that they drown themselves.

I woke up at a young age. I am a child refugee of feminism, now almost 30. Growing up I learned the hard way about women and now know that feminism is to blame for my families suffering. I will never marry a woman (tho that has been my desire since childhood) because of my wounds. Even one like you that has apparently "woken up" will not convince me to go that route.

Enjoy your dog(s).

The Shrug said...

You're outraged at how it inconveniences you, not how the men are treated. You're just another slave driver pouting for a slave to whip.

Anonymous said...

You just may meet someone and perhaps even marry. You may also win the lotto.

Nothing wrong in hoping, but please try not to put your expectations too high: you could only be disapointed.

I think that the chasm that now separates men and women is too wide and will never close.

Feminism will never release its death grip and it looks very much like men are on that battlefield as well.

Even if you could find someone to marry you, your husband will never be able to trust you completely. Could you live with that thought?

Kimberly's Lament said...


I think you might be right.


Kimberly's Lament said...


I can see how you would think that. My reasoning isn't completely selfish, and I'd be lying if I said they did have some selfish motivations. But to call me a slave driver is kinda harsh dont you think?

Kimberly's Lament said...

Anon @ 2:59

The man that I'm with right now says he will never trust me or anyone. I AM LIVING WITH IT.